1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with
that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
5. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
6. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
7. In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."
8. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
9. Don't use any punctuation.
10. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
11. Ask people what sex they are, then laugh hysterically after they
answer.
12. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
13. Sing along at the opera.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
15. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds
all day.
16. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.
17. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, The Rock.
18. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!"
"Thirdtime this week!!!"
20. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we have to let one
of you go." |
