AGAINST ALL DEMONS

so much harder now
then ever before
is this how life
is suppose to be
the slow down
is another way out
when the end is near
then the end it will be
against all demons
this pain is all i have
the end is never close enough
i know what has to be done
this is my meaning
my last retreat
last time youll see me whole
this is my sundown
when this all comes crashing down
it will freeze like ice
ill fight like hell
to know what its like to be found
is this the last night
that their is meaning for all this
when everything falls down around you
the crashing sound is all youll here
the last night alone
is the last time ill be alive
with no reason to carry on
it will all go under
this is the last light
of the only time were free
the only chance we ever had
this is my summer

BLOOD LETTING

you
you bring me down
to where i never wanted to be
you always put me down
made me feel ugly
you slowly tore away at me
never left anything
i was never what you wanted
i was wrong about everything

i feel alone
under this pouring rain
im just a disgrace
a dissapointment to everyone
including you

you
you never liked me
i was never good enough for you
i was never what you wanted
i was everything you hated
i could never do anything right
i was never good enough in your eyes

i feel alone
under this pouring rain
im just a disgrace
a dissapointment to everyone
including you

ill never take this back
im not goning to lie to myslef
because of you over you
thsi blood on my hands
these scars on my skin
are because of you
id never forgive what you did to me
i am what i am because of you
over you
when this is all gone
its all because of you
because of you

i feel alone
under this pouring rain
im just a disgrace
a dissapointment to everyone
including you

BROKEN VINYL

its one of those nights
that never seems long enough
although it plays over and over
in my head
all the things i think of now
an hour or two too late
to matter to you
im half asleep and half way home
this drive seems longer then ever
its so hard to believe
so few stars are out tonight
nothing worth lookig forward too
when i get home
another day of hopeless breathing
if i sleep now ill have to wake up again
i dont ever want to see the sun again
ill play this record to death
i feel so helpless
ill never change this place
ill never know what i want
just keep saying those words
that ment so much back then

HAPPILY EVER AFTER

comforting you tonight
you dont understand
what you have done
you just keep saying
soon responsiblity will
come your way
we all have grown up so fast
we lost all we had
when we were five
innocense is lost again
just keep telling your self
youll be a mother someday
for better or worse
it will all work out
no more happy endings for us
all we held dear years ago
have all been lost

SHORT BLACK HAIR

this is another
way to deal with what i dont have
no pills left in the bottle
so ill live with this pain
awhile longer it seems
i cant stand this anymore
another day i cant speak
your name
i couldnt wait to forgive you
your the sunshine
that kept me alive
this long
another day i live
is another day
i wish i would fall
down into darkness
so i wouldnt have
to have this pain
i cant handle it anymore
again i cant
say your name
i couldnt wait to forget you
your the love
that i never could hold
its harder
for that everyday
everyday you
are still everything
to me
everynight i still dream
of you and your hair
and your eyes
and a day where you care

...Optimism Is Over Rated

all is lost
in this screwed up game we play
when nothing is left to feel
all that is worth feeling hurt
all that is good in lost
death overcomes all
evil is all that frees anything
once again left out
all souls half off
a sale on sanity
no profit to be made now
giving away all i had
all for nothing

EMO

another day iv wasted
id rather be watching tv
then thinking of you
i cant do eaither anymore
with out hurting more
all these sad records
are all that help now
i cant write anymore
i dont even know how i feel now
every thing i do now
reminds me that your not here
i cant stand this anymore
the sun never shines anymore
here in my room
its hell on earth
i cant stand this place anymore
i wanna runaway from here
never look back
no one would ever care anyways
find a new home far away from here
and youll never know what i felt

SUNSPOT

bleeding like this
is the way out of this
nights are darker now
nothing keeps this day from breaking
another sleepless night
the preasure on my skull
nothing like dying
when everything burns like fire
ice is all that flows through my arms
to burn would be a blessing
maybe id feel something
something for only a second
then go away again
seeing with eyes is nothing
i have to feel something
to feel alive again
it grows like cancer
the darkness inside destroys everything
the last time the sun sets for me
someday soon ill be free
from this overwhelming
hate

CAN I BREATH YET?

as i play our favorite broken record
i remember times when were alone
and how your voice always brought out
thoughts of broken street lights
im sorry you nver liked the way
i said your name
im sorry about eveything i never
did say
im sorry i ever felt anything for you
as thoughts and memoreies come flooding back
i always cried when things got to sad
remember the shows and the movies we went to
ill always remember how you laughed
im sorry i never was on key
im sorry i never wrote you
im sorry i was to scared to call
i guess after all im just a jerk
i had no right to be with you
its all better off this way
maybe ill see you soon
as the cars scream out
once again the pavement wins
lying on the sidewalk
in my weakest moment all i see is you
i can almost here your laugh when im alone
maybe someday youll forgive me
and maybe ill grow up

YOU TASTE LIKE GASOLINE

again this time floats on by
from here vegas dosnt look so cool
if i had a number
i might come see you
when your still home
did it ever hit your little head
that i feel this way
and its about you
id rather fall down
then fall away from you

another day of hopeless breathing
when i hoped the time would die
the sundays i waited on you
were wasted i guess
i guess your breaking me apart

now i remember times i lived
alone on the floor with broken records
they had your intials on the labels
and our favorite songs circled
and then times when the beach
was so cold
id wrap you up so you wouldnt freeze
now that i look back at it
maybe you wouldnt care eaither way

did the way my heart fall ever stop you
or did you just push harder on it
the nighst i sat alone waiting on your name
and it never came
did you care eaither way
did i ever really hold a place in you
id liek to see you
have this happen to you

ONLY WORDS

dont say you like that song
you only make me love you more
if this isnt real
then i can die now
all i need is you
and if you dont
then why
why do i have to feel like this
feel like if i dont say something
im goning to die
did you ever understand me
or the words i said
did you ever know
they are all for you
send me another mixed signal
is this one for real
maybe now i can cry